By Bozhena Evans, LCSW · Therapist & Brainspotting Practitioner · Wheat Ridge / Denver, CO
Everyone warned you about the sleepless nights. The diapers. The way your whole life rearranges itself around a person who weighs less than your grocery bag.
What no one warned you about was the worry.
The kind that has you standing over the crib at 3 a.m., hand hovering, waiting to feel them breathe. The mind that races through every worst-case scenario before you’ve even had coffee. The tight chest, the racing heart, the sense that if you just stay vigilant enough, you can keep everyone safe — and the exhaustion of never, ever being able to put that vigilance down.
If that’s you right now, I want to say something gently and clearly: you are not broken, and you are not a bad mom. You may be experiencing postpartum anxiety — and it is far more common than anyone told you.
The anxiety no one warned you about
We talk a lot about postpartum depression. We talk much less about postpartum anxiety — even though research suggests it’s at least as common, affecting somewhere around 13% to 18% of new mothers, and by some estimates even more. Many moms experience anxiety without ever feeling “depressed” in the way they expected to.
That’s part of what makes it so confusing. You may not feel sad. You may, in fact, look like you’re holding it all together beautifully. Inside, though, the volume is turned all the way up.
Postpartum anxiety can sound like:
- A constant hum of dread, or a feeling that something bad is about to happen
- Racing, looping thoughts you can’t seem to shut off — especially about the baby’s safety
- Scary, intrusive images or “what if” thoughts that horrify you (these are common, and having them does not mean you would ever act on them)
- Checking and re-checking — the monitor, the locks, the car seat, your baby’s breathing
- A pounding heart, tight chest, nausea, or trouble sleeping even when the baby finally sleeps
- Irritability, or feeling like you have to do everything yourself to keep it all from falling apart
None of this means you’re failing. It means your nervous system — flooded with hormones, running on no sleep, and suddenly responsible for keeping a tiny human alive — has gotten stuck in high alert.
Postpartum anxiety vs. postpartum depression: what’s the difference?
They’re related, and they can overlap, but they’re not the same thing. Postpartum depression tends to center on low mood, hopelessness, loss of interest, and difficulty bonding. Postpartum anxiety centers on fear, worry, physical tension, and a mind that won’t slow down.
Here’s the part most people don’t realize: studies have found that many women with postpartum anxiety don’t have postpartum depression at the same time. They’re distinct experiences. That matters, because if you’ve been screened for depression, told “your mood looks fine,” and sent on your way — while you’re still lying awake bracing for catastrophe — your anxiety may simply have been missed.
You deserve support for what you’re actually experiencing.
Why “just talk about it” sometimes isn’t enough
Traditional talk therapy is wonderful, and for many moms it’s exactly what’s needed. But postpartum anxiety often doesn’t live in the thinking, talking part of the brain. It lives in the body — in the racing heart, the clenched jaw, the startle response, the bracing.
You can know, logically, that the baby is fine. And your body can still flood with alarm anyway. That gap — between what you know and what you feel — is the frustrating heart of anxiety. Talking can help you understand it. It doesn’t always reach the place where the alarm is being stored.
That’s where Brainspotting comes in.
What is Brainspotting — and why it’s gentle enough for new motherhood
Brainspotting is a body-based therapy that helps your brain process and release stuck stress, anxiety, and trauma — without requiring you to talk through every painful detail.
The premise is simple and a little surprising: where you look affects how you feel. Certain eye positions seem to connect to where your brain is holding distress. Working together, I help you find one of those points (a “brainspot”) and then simply support you while your own brain and body do the processing. You stay in control the entire time. There’s no reliving, no forcing, no homework to white-knuckle through.
For a new mom, that gentleness is the whole point. You don’t have enough spare capacity to be re-traumatized in the name of healing. Brainspotting tends to feel calming — many people describe it as a relief, like finally setting down something heavy they’d been carrying in their arms.
I’ll be honest with you, because you deserve honesty: Brainspotting is a newer approach, and the research base is still growing. It is not yet considered “evidence-based” in the same well-studied way as therapies like EMDR or CBT. What we do have is encouraging — early studies show reductions in trauma, anxiety, and depression symptoms — alongside a great deal of clinical experience from therapists (myself included) who see how much relief it can bring. I’ll never oversell it. I’ll only ever offer you what I genuinely believe can help.
How Brainspotting can help with postpartum anxiety
When we use Brainspotting for postpartum anxiety, we’re gently working with the part of your nervous system that’s stuck in overdrive. Over time, many clients find they can:
- Quiet the 3 a.m. spiral and actually sleep when there’s a chance to
- Feel the difference between a real alarm and an anxious false alarm
- Loosen the grip of intrusive thoughts so they stop feeling so threatening
- Reconnect with the parts of new motherhood that are supposed to feel tender and good
- Soften the bracing in the body — the clenched shoulders, the held breath
This isn’t about becoming a mom who never worries. Some watchfulness is love. It’s about turning the volume back down to something livable, so worry stops running the show.
What a session actually looks like
You’ll sit comfortably (in person here in Wheat Ridge, or online from your couch while the baby naps). We talk first — no eye contact exercises sprung on you out of nowhere. When you’re ready, I help you notice where in your body you feel the anxiety, and we find the eye position that connects to it. Then you simply notice whatever comes up while I stay right there with you. You can pause anytime. You’re always the one steering.
Many moms tell me they were nervous it would feel strange or intense, and instead found it surprisingly soft.
A word of care
Postpartum anxiety is real, common, and very treatable — you don’t have to earn your way out of it by suffering longer. Please reach out to a professional (me, your OB, your midwife, or your doctor) about what you’re feeling. Brainspotting can also work alongside medication, your OB’s care, or other therapy — it’s not either/or.
And if you’re ever having thoughts of harming yourself or your baby, or the intrusive thoughts feel like they’re taking over, please reach out right away. You can call or text the Postpartum Support International HelpLine at 1-800-944-4773, or call or text 988 anytime. Reaching out is the strong, loving thing to do — for you and for your little one.
You don’t have to white-knuckle through this
If you’re a new mom in Denver, Wheat Ridge, Arvada, or anywhere in Colorado, and you’re tired of bracing through every day, I’d be honored to help you find your footing again.
I offer Brainspotting and therapy for anxiety for new and expecting parents, both in person and via telehealth across Colorado. You can learn what to expect as a new client or reach out for a free consultation whenever you’re ready. No pressure, no rush — just a calmer next step.
You found joy in becoming a parent. Let’s help you find ease in it, too.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is Brainspotting safe during pregnancy or while breastfeeding?
Yes. Brainspotting is non-invasive and involves no medication — it simply works with your natural eye positions and nervous system, so there’s nothing to pass to your baby. It’s a gentle option many parents feel comfortable with during pregnancy and postpartum. As always, it’s good to keep your OB or midwife in the loop about all the care you’re receiving.
How is Brainspotting different from EMDR for postpartum anxiety?
Both use eye position to help the brain process distress, but Brainspotting is generally more open and less structured than EMDR’s step-by-step protocol. Many people find it gentler and less activating, which can be a relief when you’re already running on empty. The right fit depends on you — we can talk through it together.
How many sessions will I need?
It varies. Some moms feel a noticeable shift within the first few sessions; others use Brainspotting as ongoing support for a while. After an initial stretch of weekly work, many people move to every other week or monthly “maintenance.” We’ll go at the pace your life and nervous system can handle.
Can I do this online, or do I have to come in?
Both. I see clients in person in Wheat Ridge (just northwest of Denver) and offer secure telehealth throughout Colorado — so you can have a session while the baby naps, without packing the diaper bag.
Do you take insurance?
I accept a limited number of insurance clients (including Aetna, and Kaiser as out-of-network) and also offer private-pay and sliding-scale options. Reach out and we’ll sort out what works best for your family.