Not sure what to do or feeling conflicted? Parts work could be your solution.

There are times in everyone’s life when we feel uncertainty and have split, or opposing, ideas and feelings. Parts work therapy could very well help resolve these feelings.  

Have you ever uttered the statement, “…well a part of me feels ____, but the other part feels ____,” or something similar? Have you noticed that although you are one individual, there are many facets or “parts” of you that show up in various situations differently?

In the early 1980s, Dr. Richard Schwartz was one of the first trauma therapists who developed a non-judgmental psychotherapeutic approach aimed at recognizing, honoring, and ultimately connecting to our own individual parts, or as some earlier psychologists called subpersonalities or ego states. Schwarts named this approach Internal Family Systems (IFS), and other therapists like Tom Holmes, Ph.D have since utilized parts work with much success to help individuals to heal traumas and emotional wounds more effectively than traditional talk therapy alone is able to achieve.

So what makes this approach so beneficial? 

When incorporating IFS or parts work, a therapist can help a client: 

1. Identify the parts of themselves that are showing up at a given time in a way that is disruptive or distressing for the client, i.e. if a part of the client is feeling angry, scared, sad, etc. in a certain situation.

2. Notice how they feel toward these parts, perhaps wishing these parts didn’t exist or conversely, having more understanding or even compassion about why the part feels a certain way.

3. Figure out what role the part is playing in protecting the whole self; the parts always have an origin or function.

4. Communicate with and validate their parts as a way of fostering self-compassion.

What is the impact of parts work?

Parts work has a very profound impact on clients and their understanding of themselves, the origins of their distress, and why their whole brain-body system may be fragmented as a way of protecting the self from feeling too much emotional pain. 

A more peaceful state of mind and sense of self is cultivated when clients can better connect to, and understand their own parts and the functions of these parts. Real healing happens the more an individual can separate from their parts enough to notice them without feeling dominated or overpowered by them. 

How can therapy help ease anxious feelings? 

In my own therapeutic framework, I like to combine Brainspotting, another form of focused mindfulness neuro-experiential work, with parts work as a way to more efficiently process emotional wounds/traumas. These two approaches work well at helping a client go deeper into their subconscious world, allowing for more empathic understanding, integration, and internal harmony.

About Bozhena Evans | BE THERAPY in Wheat Ridge, Colorado

Hey. Thanks for reading. It’s great that you are working on healing and I hope these tips have helped. I’m here for you for Brainspotting and parts work, as well as couples and sex therapy. 

Conveniently, I am educated in both and wish to help you and your partner find bliss together and flow sexually so that you are the healthiest you can be – together. Feel free to contact me for one on one couples therapy. BE Therapy is located in Wheat Ridge, Colorado and telehealth counseling is available in both Colorado and California. 

The post ‘Parts work’ and how it can transform your life. appeared first on Bozhena Evans Therapy.

The simple answer is yes. If you are even contemplating – or indeed googling ‘Couples Counseling Denver’ or relationships counseling or marriage counseling you know that there’s something you want to fix, or if not fix, at least investigate! 

You might be here because you’ve looked into couples counseling before and were unsure if it was really going to help.

Part of you might be wondering if it’s even worth it or if it’s already too late.

You might be:

• Arguing about the same things over and over
• Feeling more like roommates than romantic partners
• Struggling with resentment, jealousy, or lack of trust
• Wondering if you’re compatible at all
• Feeling alone, even when you’re together

I offer couples counseling in the Denver Metro area from my office in Wheat Ridge at 4251 Kipling St #560, Wheat Ridge, CO 80033 and via secure online sessions for couples throughout Colorado and California.

What We Can Work On in Couples Counseling

Couples counseling can help you work through many different challenges, such as:

• Frequent arguments or communication breakdowns
• Feeling distant, disconnected, or “like roommates”
• Mismatched sexual desire or intimacy concerns
• Betrayal, infidelity, or broken trust
• Anxiety, jealousy, or insecurity in the relationship
• Navigating big life transitions (moving, career changes, having kids)
• Differences in values, priorities, or relationship goals

You don’t have to wait until your relationship is “on the brink” to seek help. Many couples come in because they sense something is off and want to address it before it gets bigger.

My Approach as a Couples Counselor in the Denver Area

My goal is not to take sides or decide who’s right and who’s wrong.

Instead, I work to:

• Understand each of your perspectives deeply
• Help you both feel heard, validated, and respected
• Slow down your patterns so we can see what’s actually happening between you
• Support you in communicating in ways that bring you closer rather than push you apart

I use a trauma‑informed, attachment‑focused approach. This means I pay close attention to:

• How past experiences (including trauma and anxiety) may be impacting your relationship now
• How each of you tends to seek closeness, safety, and reassurance
• The ways you protect yourselves when you feel hurt, overwhelmed, or misunderstood

I also integrate Brainspotting and somatic (body‑based) work when it’s helpful.

These approaches can be especially powerful when:

• Old wounds keep getting triggered in your relationship
• You intellectually “get it,” but still feel flooded, shut down, or stuck
• You want to work not just on what you think but how you feel in your body when conflict shows up

In sessions, we might:

• Explore what happens right before, during, and after your recurring arguments
• Identify your “raw spots” and triggers so you can understand each other’s reactions differently
• Practice new ways of communicating in real time, with my support
• Work on rebuilding safety, trust, and emotional connection

I see both partners as doing the best they can with the tools they currently have. Our work is about expanding those tools so your relationship can feel more secure, honest, and connected.

Is Couples Counseling Right for Us?

You might be asking yourself:

• “Are we bad enough to need therapy?”
• “What if only one of us is sure we want to stay together?”
• “What if we try this and it doesn’t work?”

Couples Counseling Can be Helpful if:

• You care about each other but feel stuck in unhealthy patterns
• You’re considering separation or divorce but aren’t sure
• One or both of you feel disconnected, lonely, or unseen in the relationship
• You’re trying to heal after a betrayal or major rupture
• You feel like you are walking on eggshells and can’t say what you really feel

Sometimes one partner is more motivated than the other. That’s very common. Part of my role is to honor each person’s experience and pace—without forcing anyone into a decision or outcome.

What to Expect in Couples Counseling Sessions

Here’s what working together usually looks like:

In the first session, we’ll talk about:

• What has been happening in your relationship
• What brought you to couples counseling now
• What each of you is hoping to get out of this work

I’ll ask questions to get to know you both and your story as a couple. You’re welcome to share at your own pace.

As we continue, we might:

• Map out your main conflict patterns so you can see them more clearly
• Explore the emotions and needs underneath your reactions
• Practice slowing everything down in session so you can try new responses
• Use Brainspotting and somatic tools (when appropriate) to help process deeper emotional and nervous system responses that keep pulling you into the same fights

My intention is to create a space where both of you can show up honestly, be fully yourselves, and feel supported in making the changes you want—individually and together.

Online and In‑Person Couples Counseling near Denver in Wheat Ridge, CO and in CA (Telehealth online counseling)

I offer:

• In‑person sessions at my Arvada office (serving the greater Denver area)
• Online telehealth sessions for couples throughout Denver and across Colorado + virtually in California

If you live in Denver or nearby areas like Arvada, Wheat Ridge, Golden, Lakewood, Westminster, or beyond, you can choose the format that works best for you. Some couples prefer the privacy and grounding of coming into the office; others appreciate the convenience of meeting from home.

If You’re Feeling Unsure About Couples Counseling…

It’s okay if you’re not 100% sure about couples counseling.

You might worry that:

• A therapist will take sides
• You’ll be blamed or shamed
• Things will get worse if you start talking about them

Your fears deserve to be taken seriously. You don’t have to have it all figured out before you start. We can go slowly and honor your boundaries along the way. You’re always in choice.

My role isn’t to decide whether you should stay together or separate. My role is to support you in having the honest conversations you need, in a way that feels as safe and grounded as possible, so you can make decisions that are true to you.

Starting Couples Counseling at BE Therapy with Bozhena Evans, LCSW

If you’re looking for a couples counselor in Denver or the surrounding area and something in this page resonates with you, I’d be honored to support you.

You don’t have to keep having the same fight. You don’t have to keep feeling alone in your relationship.

Next step:

With Couples Counseling, You Truly Can Feel Better

We invest so much time and emotion into our close relationships that often it’s hard to unpick what we are feeling, that is why it is worth stepping back and asking for a different perspective. A certified couples counselor or therapist is often the best place to start! 

What is couples counseling, relationship or marriage counseling? 

It’s an opportunity to help you and your partner look objectively at your relationship, to work through difficulties and rebuild, or to make the hard decision that perhaps you don’t want to stay together! 

There are so many areas of a relationship that therapy can help, including recurring conflicts, issues related to sex, an affair, work stresses, relationship anxiety, family issues, a feeling of disconnection… As a society we have had such a tough time recently that the stress of life is very much at the forefront.

And there’s a fix!

With your skilled, experienced Couples Counselor, Bozhena will gently guide you to see a different perspective, to see the relationship and potentially the issues within it from a different place, noticing your triggers that connect to deeper emotional wounds, and thus allowing you to make informed decisions instead of emotional responses.

Amazing, right?

Maybe you’ve been in a long-term relationship that feels stale or like your needs aren’t being met? It could be that you need help communicating your needs to your partner.

You may also need help rekindling your erotic desire for one another when it feels like you’ve lost it. You want the sexual intimacy back!

I’m here to be your relationship coach. More times than not, a relationship can be repaired if both players are just willing to put in some work in order to reignite the spark that may have dimmed and/or get reacquainted with all of the qualities that you have valued most about your partner. It IS possible to take your relationship to the next level and revive that love and attraction, and I’m here to help you do that!

I can help bring you both back to the same page, perhaps you don’t know where to start… I do! Issues with your relationships can give you many challenges you might be feeling right now:

• A feeling of disconnection 
• Self-esteem and confidence boosting
• Anxiety and intense worry for the future
• Indecision and a feeling of ‘being stuck’ 
• Emotional outbursts
• Not feeling appreciated or loved
• Resorting to the same behaviors you always have 

Hi. I’m Bozhena Evans, founder of BE Therapy, and a trained Brainspotting Therapist in Wheat Ridge (right next to Denver Metro).

I have an eclectic professional background and love working with people from all walks of life. I’ve seen first-hand how much relief Brainspotting Therapy brings – especially when it comes to anxiety. 

You deserve this.

And, my mission is to give you the top tier therapeutic service that you need so that you can shrug off (finally) the endless worry and circling that comes with anxiety. 

Do you need this? Well, have you ever gotten anxiety over having anxiety? Yep. Come give Brainspotting or Couples Counseling a try.

The post Couples Counseling in Denver to Rebuild Your Relationship appeared first on Bozhena Evans Therapy.