Romantic date ideas in Denver, a curated list by Bozhena Evans, LCSW, Couples Counselor and Sex Therapist in Wheat Ridge, CO

I talk a lot about the importance of keeping the romance alive in our long-term committed relationships.

This is especially relevant to those who have experienced and survived multiple chapters of ups and downs with regard to eroticism. Date nights aren’t reserved for the honeymoon period alone–they’re just as important and enlivening in later stages of a relationship as in its inception. Whether you’re a busy working couple with the added burden of raising children, or childless partners defaulting to your vocation or other non-sexy comfort zones in which to pour most of your energy, I’m here to help you work on intentionally carving out opportunities for actual romantic experiences, which will infuse your relationship with that delicious eros that it craves. (More on my couples counseling and sex therapy after my sexiest spots for dates in Denver directory below.)

As I am a Denver Metropolitan area resident and proud Coloradan, I thought it might be fun to share just a few among many of my favorite romantic local activities for those of you locals reading.

Maybe these ideas will inspire non-Coloradans to do your own exploration of your local fun/romantic spots that offer sensory stimulation and allow for romantic energy to flow. There are too many bars, restaurants, and other special places to include, but here is a list of a few great spots that really stand out in my mind:

Major Tom Restaurant (Rino)

It’s a more upscale but not stuffy restaurant with a beautiful atmosphere, artsy aesthetic, and excellent cuisine for the price point. It’s an intimate space with outdoor seating as well. This may be a bit decadent for a first date, but definitely a must for someone special. https://majortomdenver.com

ESP Bar Denver

An exquisite little bar/lounge. As written directly on the bar’s website, “ESP (Extra Sensory Perception) hints to the feeling for us when all senses, sight, smell, touch, taste and sound are in harmony. You can’t put your finger on it, but everything just feels… right.” I couldn’t say it better! If you want to grab a delicious beverage in an aesthetically and multi-sensorially stimulating space, go here with your cutie. https://esphifi.co

Harkins Arvada Movie Theater

Located on the northwestern side of town, it has a cute retro aesthetic, a little bar inside for those who like an adult beverage before/after their movie, and super comfortable plush recliner chairs to view the movie of your choice. https://www.harkins.com/theatres/arvada-14

Tatarian Denver

This is a small yet vibrant, woman-owned little cocktail lounge with exquisite cocktails that’s perfect for a date evening! I love how cozy it is, and conducive to good conversation as it’s rarely too loud. https://www.thetatarian.com

Denver Botanical Garden on York Street

Of course, I couldn’t help but include this stunner. Even though it’s typically thought of as more of a daytime place to visit, some might forget that it’s open until the evening and serves as quite the romantic setting for a stroll and chat with a loved one or even a newer crush! https://www.botanicgardens.org

Clocktower Cabaret of Denver

This unique event spot offers entertaining burlesque shows in a cute venue inside of the Downtown Denver clocktower. Grab some dinner beforehand and head over here if you and your main squeeze are comfortable viewing the somewhat ancient art of burlesque theater, with always some form of creative themes to accompany each show…this can be a more overt way to generate erotic energy. https://www.clocktowercabaret.com

About Your Curator: Bozhena Evans, LCSW, Owner & Founder of BE Therapy

Hi, I’m Bozhena Evans, LCSW, Couples Counselor and Sex Therapist near Denver, Colorado in Arvada, CO.

In my experience, a couple can start out hot and steamy with their attraction, chemistry, and great sex, but they might struggle with emotional intimacy free of fears, disappointments, and trust issues.

Understandably, a healthy companionship becomes more challenging in this case as the couple works to explore and heal their wounds until a more secure attachment develops. 

On the flipside, and what I see often in my office, is that many couples in long-term committed relationships report having less trouble managing their domestic responsibilities and may report being great companions but say that eroticism has been largely neglected and needs reviving. In other words, the partners get along and cohabitate quite well but have allowed all other areas of focus, and the natural course of sharing proximity with someone over time, to dampen their desire for one another. Many times, at least one of the partners craves more heat to reenter the relationship. More likely, they both want to increase romantic energy but may have different needs for accessing desire for one another.

Even the act of exploration in itself is exciting and fun. Hence the importance of this list!

Multiple couples and sex therapists speak to the difference between companionship and eroticism in a committed relationship. In fact, we know from couples and sex therapy gurus like Esther Perel that exploration and excitement are opposite forces from safety and stability, which as mentioned earlier, many couples may possess while nonetheless struggling with eroticism. Again, setting an intention to have more romantic, fun and exploratory date nights is one important avenue through which eroticism can be increased and enhanced, also allowing the couple a bit of an escape from the more mundane or serious tasks of daily life.

To explain how folks differ in their ability to access desire is beyond the scope of this post and will be discussed in another; however, it’s fair to say more generally that remembering to keep romance alive is something many of us in long-term committed relationships can strive to improve. We forget that we mustn’t take our relationships for granted, even as we feel cozy and settled into them. Usually, at least one partner craves more excitement or lust in the relationship, so if we remember to actively work at keeping the eros alive, which involves supplementing the more grounding energies of a relationship with more playfulness, fun, and excitement, we end up feeling more connected and joyful as partners. 

Could your relationship use some sparks? Save this list and see which one suits you best. Need more than sparks? Perhaps some couples therapy?

The post A (Local’s) Quest for the Perfect Romantic Spots Near Denver, Colorado appeared first on Bozhena Evans Therapy.

Attachment styles are the different ways individuals develop and navigate interpersonal relationships and emotional bonds to others, primarily romantic partners, based on each individual’s early childhood experiences with their caregivers. As a means of survival to better fit into their family system, children begin to adapt to their caregiver’s way of attuning to or meeting/not meeting their biological, physical, and emotional needs. However in adulthood, these adaptations can become maladaptive in how they show up when attempting to get needs met within the romantic relationship. Other life experiences and traumas also have an impact on attachment styles and how individuals show up in their romantic relationships. 

The most commonly discussed attachment styles are secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized. 

Secure attachment is a style of relating to people that involves feeling secure in one’s connection with them, including when physically apart, and being comfortable expressing one’s thoughts and feelings. 

Anxious attachment is characterized by feeling insecure and worried about one’s relationships and often leads to more “clingy” behavior or feeling like one’s needs are unable to be met. 

Avoidant attachment is characterized by a discomfort with emotional expression and a more emotionally distant personality, including difficulty opening up to others and forming more intimate relationships.

Disorganized attachment results when children experience trauma or lack of physical and emotional safety, so as they grow they struggle both with giving and receiving love as a result of trust issues. This can look like a combo of both extremely avoidant and extremely anxious styles and an overall unstable relational experience with loved ones.

Why do some of us have disordered or “dysfunctional” attachment styles?

People may have disordered attachment styles due to many different reasons such as difficult early experiences with caregivers or trauma, instability in the home, mental health issues in the family, and other forms of interpersonal stress. 

Disordered attachment can occur when a person’s primary caregivers are unable to consistently provide supportive and nurturing care, when emotional attunement is unavailable or dismissed by the caregiver(s) as being important for the child, or when they experience trauma, neglect, or abuse. 

What are the most compatible attachment styles?

The most compatible attachment styles tend to be securely attached individuals, who feel safe and secure in their relationships, as well as individuals with an avoidant attachment style, who seek independence and autonomy in their relationships. 

This being said, oftentimes, opposites attract and anxiously attached individuals attract more avoidant individuals and vice versa. Anxiously attached individuals tend to be more charismatic and outwardly expressive while avoidantly attached individuals tend to be more grounded and concrete thinkers, as well as slower processors. It is possible for these two styles to coexist in a healthy and balanced relationship, with each person respecting and understanding the other’s needs for autonomy and connection.

How can you form a secure attachment style?

Forming a secure attachment style starts with opening yourself up to connection with the people around you and building a secure base through open communication, mutual trust, and support. This of course takes practice and a commitment to working on creating an environment of safe acceptance and understanding with loved ones. 

Specifically, be available, provide comfort, and demonstrate a consistent nurturing style. Understanding your partner’s style can help you better attune to him/her and vice versa, thereby helping you to both move toward secure attachment.

Establishing clear boundaries and limits is also important for forming secure attachment. Through this, you can communicate your needs and expectations while also being accommodating and open to compromise. 

Couples and individual counseling/therapy can really help teach individuals about their own attachment style as well as that of their partner and the origins of these due to childhood history and life experiences. Counseling can also help manage emotional triggers that may result during conflict between partners and help each individual better emotionally regulate him/herself, thus fostering more conscious connection, trust, and more secure attachment.

About Bozhena Evans | BE Therapy

Hi, I’m Bozhena Evans, LCSW and couples counselor/sex therapist based in Colorado who works with individuals and couples to gain insight into how to be happier and more fulfilled together.

There are many ways to reconnect with your partner, and learning about attachment styles and how to compliment each other’s – can go a long way.

If you’ve been yearning for a better relationship with your partner, please do not hesitate to reach out for a complimentary initial consultation by phone to see if we are indeed a good fit for individual or couples relationship counseling. I look forward to hearing from you!

The post What are attachment styles? How do they form? appeared first on Bozhena Evans Therapy.